Cygnus Olor
by Horky
Summary: It all still feels like a blur to Cloud, how quickly she came into his life and changed it, and how quickly she was gone. He had promised her no more green, but it's hard to keep a promise to someone who isn't there anymore, and vengeance is a strong beast to tame. Sequel to Swan Song
1. Prologue

Cygnus Olor

It's about a quarter after three when I say goodbye to my last student. I stand outside of the school for a moment, enjoying the slight breeze. It's a sunny day; the smog makes it a little hazy, but it's still a day that can be easily enjoyed.

I sigh, turning to take the short walk home, cradling the basket of books in the crook of my arm. Up ahead I see a group of SOLDIERs leaving the military office. I feel a slight cringe in my heart, but I shake it off easily. Well, easily is a bit of a stretch, but easier than I've been able to do it. A shock of bright yellow hair glints in the doorway of the office, and I smile bittersweet.

A tangle of memories and feelings, always with him,Cloud...he always brings back...

Cloud looks up, catching sight of me standing. He lifts his hand in greeting; he has the same look in his eye that I have, of a deep ache and loss, but his have healed quicker. It's a little hopeful, thinking that I may one day be a bit lighter, even when it is so hard to imagine now. My eyes meet his for a heartbeat and I smile–

–_ I can't do this not yet_–

A sudden wave of sickness hits my stomach, and I fight not to retch all over the sidewalk. Tifa swims in my head, her vision of the road stretched before her, a red blur, tall spires glittering in sunlight– and I feel it from her, the fear, her racing heart, the smell of her sweat and burning oil from the truck–her foot as it slams the gas pedal. The world swims before me, and I feel myself losing my balance.

TIFA!

"Aeris!"

I'm wrenched back into my body, from the fall, from Tifa, I don't know. I stare up at the sky for a moment, my sight slightly blurred as I watch an airship leave tracks far above me. Tifa...

"Aeris!" Cloud is suddenly beside of me, kneeling over me. "What happened? Where is she?" His eyes are brighter than the sky.

How did he know? My confusion keeps me from answering, and I keep opening my mouth and closing it...of course he knows, or could tell...he's probably seen Tifa in my head before. I try to recall the details. Where was she?

I call out to her, but she can't hear me, or she won't hear me. My heart skips a beat. What if she's dead?

"Aeris," Cloud's commanding voice brings my attention back to him, and I push myself up onto my elbows, staring into his intense eyes, ignoring the small crowd gathering around us watching.

"The church," I breathe, the vision suddenly blossoming in my mind. "She's near the church."

_Yes..._

No...that doesn't feel right...she shouldn't...go there–be there. What's happening? What's going to happen?

I look to Cloud, for answers or something, but he doesn't have any. Cloud is already up, racing away from me, his back a distant figure already. Where do I go? What do I do? I have to get below the plate.

I push myself up, abandoning the basket of books on the ground where they lay, and hike my dress up. I run, cursing my heavy gardening boots, making each step feel painfully sluggish and slow. The train? Is that the fastest? I don't have a car...I don't even know...

In the distance I hear the roar of a loud engine...

Cloud, he's going for her, good...I have to let her know!

I try to reach out for her again, but it's like a wall...I keep trying to find a way around it, but there's nothing. It's like she's not even there, but I _know _she is, I can feel her hiding behind it.

I nearly trip over my skirt as my concentration shifts between running and trying to get to Tifa. Ahead I can see the train station, and I gasp trying to catch my breath. Riding this train is going to be the longest ride of my life–

_ Rufus chuckles, leaning against the desk behind him...so nonchalant. A war beneath his feet? Business for the poor. "What have I ever done to you that's so worse than what happened to the others? All SOLDIERs are destined to die and suffer."_

_ Cloud is bruised...lying against a shattered pillar in the church beneath a plate. Unconscious at first...he wakes slowly, confused. He stands as if there is such a weight on his shoulders...and then...a sight, something in the flowers– _

_Zack. Midgar sits behind him, surrounded by desert-Zack stares straight at me, straight into me. There is so much pain, and it is his pain, his bullet riddled body. _

_"Aeris...Aeris...Aeris..." he whispers—_

I open my mouth to scream, feel tears on my cheeks, taste blood in my mouth.

Zack. Zack! ZACK!

Blackness.

Then, Tifa opens her eyes, and I see...the truck...it's upside down. She's alive! Just back from unconsciousness, though, I can feel the grogginess in her limbs. It's weakened this wall, this defense she's put up, and I hear the name thought in her mind, the fear...

_–Genesis– _

Tifa! Tifa! Hang on! He's–

I come to laying on the sidewalk again, still reeling from the visions–Zack– and Genesis. She shut me out! This is getting really frustrating! I slap my hands on to the hard pavement, rolling onto my feet. Up ahead the train is squeaking to a stop in the station. I hike my dress up once again, barreling through a crowd of commuters. They yell at me as I swing myself through the doors. The train is crowded with children and parents, workers, the first batch of them for the next few hours. I try to take deep, steadying breaths, make myself breathe normally. A little girl is looking up at me with wide, frightened eyes, staring at the blood dripping from scrapes on my elbows and hands. Her mother eyeballs me before snagging her arm around the girl protectively.

I ignore them, squeezing to a place beside the door, and clinging to a metal, upright rail. I want to be close as possible to the door for when we get to our stop. The train jerks into motion, and I feel my stomach stay on the platform behind us as we begin to gather speed.

The city blurs through the window, and then the train blurs with it.

Cloud is above me, on his motorcycle. I see Genesis over his shoulder–

TIFA! Oh thank goodness–

The train comes back into sharp focus. I swear under my breath, once again gaining the stares of commuters.

I try to breathe again, pushing my frazzled hair back out of my face. I know I have to look a mess to these people. I've never been much of a physical person so from that short run to the train I'm sweating, and huffing pretty badly. I think my hair has fallen lose from my braid, too. I keep feeling strands of it brush against the back of my arms.

The train ride it tortuous, the stops the worse. I want to scream at the people, and shove them off the train. I want to go yell at the conductor to not stop.

Instead, to keep from absolutely losing my mind, I keep chanting her name in my head, trying to break through.

Tifa. Tifa. Tifa. Tifa.

I keep thinking it over and over, and once or twice it works. I get vague flashes of the church in the distance, of the church itself as she steps inside–

That vision I think I jump out of though, more than she pushed me out. I don't want to see– It's wrong, I know. I want to see what's happening. I want to know that she'll be okay, that Cloud is okay...but suddenly, for the first time I don't want to see the church. It's more of a gut feeling, like maybe the planet is telling me something...

But she is silent for the first time since Zack's death.

The train is rolling up on Tifa's stop– I can see it through the window. Just a couple more stops and I'll be at the church_._

As the train starts to squeak slowing, I feel something cold plunge into my chest, a bucket of ice down my front–

The train stops, the doors opening, and I stumble out onto the platform slowly, clutching at my chest as if I can feel the blood. In one body I can. I brush up against a column on the platform, leaning on it for support. I keep grabbing at the dry, unstained fabric beneath me, trying to keep a grip on reality, but the pain is too much.

_Aeris...Aeris, Aeris... I know...I know you can hear me. Aerith._

No...no no...Tifa. Tifa. Tifa–no no no... what have you done? Wait please, I'm coming.

The church floods into my eyes, but at an angle I have never seen before. The roof, cracked, and slightly caving in is above me. The bottoms of flowers dance at the edge of my vision. Then I look down, and I see it– the sword, glinting harshly in the sunlight.

_ No, Aerith. No. You have to go to Barret's...You have to get...Marlene...Barret...everyone...get...out._

Tifa! Hang on, please!

She shakes her head–the vision sways back and forth. _No. You have to get out. Cloud will go home...the bar..._

Tifa why?! Tifa just wait. Just hang on. I can keep you alive, I know I can. My body can keep you alive...

_You can't afford to carry the soul of another in you...somebody is already counting on you... Aerith...listen to me. I have to show you this...I need you–_

I wince with her as she coughs, blood tearing up her throat. I think of Zack...I think of the pain...I think of what he went through–what she's going through now–

Tifa...

She is lost in her thoughts for a moment, then she replies. So calm...for someone who is...

_ Remember this, please, here are my secrets. Here is my last vision. My last gift. I give it to you, my memory, your burden...I'm sorry._

I sigh so deeply, letting her take control again. I feel the visions wash over me like cool water, and I close my eyes to see more clearly.

_There's something in his eyes, a desire there that I've seen before, but for some reason is more accented tonight. _

_ His eyes blaze, icy fire, and then he kisses me._

_ It takes my breath away, and my mind explodes._

_–Cloud is bruised...lying against a shattered pillar in the church beneath a plate. Unconscious at first...he wakes slowly, confused; I see him look around as if lost... He stands as if there is such a weight on his shoulders...and then...a sight, something in the flowers– a body._

_It's me. It can't be me, but it is me...but it isn't me. It is my body, my earthly shell, but my soul, my spirit has already left it. It is not me anymore, and that is why I can see it in this vision..._

_He goes to the bar, to Barret and Aeris...he's leading them all out of the city, all those in danger of ShinRa's rath...he will kill him...he will kill ShinRa...he will destroy Midgar. Sephiroth–a factory, joining Cloud...Angeal beside of him. Rushing towards ShinRa tower, all those that I love– Reno, Cid, Rude, Vincent– all rushing at this great beast._

_ And then...Rufus._

_ Cloud stops...Rufus stops...both just staring at each other with the eery noise of battle rising through the floor._

_ "I'll kill you..." Cloud...so thick and hoarse, voice cracking on his oath._

_ Rufus chuckles, leaning against the desk behind him...so nonchalant. A war beneath his feet? Business for the poor. "What have I ever done to you that's so worse than what happened to the others? All SOLDIERs are destined to die and suffer."_

_"My __**best **__friend. My only happiness. You took those from me."_

_ Rufus narrows his eyes. "I didn't take anything from you."_

_ "Don't deny it! Not now...not after everything. Tifa is __**dead **__because of you, and no one else. I know you wanted her, and you couldn't stand anyone else having her but she wasn't yours to have. She was mine. I loved her and you had her killed!"_

_Cloud springs forward, bringing that massive blade up, Rufus shifting quicker than Cloud thought he was capable of. A raised hand. A gun. A single shot._

_The bullet sinks into Cloud's chest, wedging between two ribs...the mako, the strength of your bones is greater. He should've died then, and Rufus thinks Cloud's done for. He lowers the gun._

_ Rufus should've known his employees better. Three steps, stumbling forward, lunge again. Rufus's face contorts, a blade through his gut. The pain coming off of Cloud is radiating, fighting for breath, blood running down his chest...just wants to die. _

_"How could you?! I always knew you were a selfish prick but that had nothing to do with–_

_ Rufus laughs, blood flecking his pristine white suit._

_ "I didn't order it... though if I had known what was going on between the two of you, I would've."_

_ Cloud growls, narrowing his eyes. "What are you talking about? Genesis said ShinRa–_

_ "Genesis meant my wife... she hated Tifa. She saw danger there...Tifa was going to be the example she set for me. No more women on the side."_

_ "An-an example? She was a human being! With a life! And dreams! And you __**took **__that from her! It wasn't her fault, it was yours! Even if Scarlet did order it you were the one that pursued it. You could've stopped it."_

_ Rufus shrugs, indifferent to Cloud's protests...and the blade in his body. "Everyone has their faults... you and her included. Hojo asked Genesis to bring her back. He knew there was something off about her, something...of an otherworldly quality to her. And Tseng wanted her dead; he knew Genesis would complete the job. She knew about Zack. She could expose the company, drive it into ruin even farther. He had to protect his family. And even if Genesis had listened to Hojo, and brought her back alive Hojo would've just experimented on her and tortured her until she died or killed herself... they all knew Genesis would kill her. And Tifa herself...well, there would always be another Tifa for me."_

_ And he squeezes the trigger, straight to Cloud's heart...the ribs don't stop it this time–_

I come up from the vision, still against the pillar, gasping hard. I am bawling, tears tracing hot tracks down my cheeks.

Tifa... Tifa no...why didn't you...?

_ Take care of him for me... _she sighs.

I feel her slipping away. I try to reach out, grab at her, her soul, her life, but she slips away easily like a breath, avoiding my reach.

_ Let her go..._ another voice whispers– a thousand million voices, really. I ignore it, though, reaching out again. _It had to be done... _the voices breathe.

I feel her floating with no care at all. So much peace for her at this moment as I am desperate to reclaim her. I reach with my soul, one last time, finding her drifting away to a place I cannot follow.

I hear her voice, only once more, a tiny, little whisper...

..._Cloud..._

I come to my senses with my arms stretched out before me, reaching for someone who is no longer there.

**A/N: **Guess who's back? :)


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

_ ...done..._

Tifa is dead...

..._to be done..._

Tifa is dead...

_ ...it had to be done..._

_ "Shut up!"_

I inhale sharply, twisting my lips together. Tifa is dead, and all I can do is scream at voices. Tifa is _dead _and all I can do is hold this letter. I don't need to keep reading it but I can't stop. I already know what it says...I already know what she wrote. I already know that she wanted Cloud to read this but he can't...he'll kill himself...

_Daughter..._

"I said be quiet!" One of my best friends has just died! Be quiet! I have to think...I have to...do something...I have to..._Barret_

My feet turn and begin leading me towards the door before I can think. Why do I have this letter? This is for Cloud, not for me, not for Barret–

_Daughter please–_

Let me talk to Barret, and then I'll make my decision.

The chance that Cloud would find this letter anyway...he wouldn't know where to look for it, let alone have the time for it. The club, the boarding house, ShinRa will search them, and Tifa wasn't thinking–_Tifa!– _she didn't think about that. Why would she? She had too much else to think of–

And...if ShinRa were to find this letter, then everything she worked at, everything she just...sacrificed will mean nothing.

I clutch the letter more firmly in my hand. You were at least right about that. ShinRa can't find this letter, but that doesn't mean Cloud shouldn't read it.

_Haven't you thought–_

Of course I've thought! But...Tifa left _this_ for him...and she showed it to me... I think... she wanted me to give it to him. I have to. If Zack...had left something–

_That is irrelevant–_

Quiet! I told you, after Barret...

Barret... I stare up at the boarding house door for a moment, before twisting the knob and opening it. Barret and I have had little interaction alone. Usually Marlene, Tifa, one of them is there. I know he's friendly, and I like him, but...I'm worried, how he'll act taking the news from me...but better from me than from Cloud.

The door creaks as it opens, and I peak hesitantly around. It's quiet, and dark in the living room, too warm and stuffy for my liking. I close the door softly behind me, taking small, reluctant steps forward.

"Barret?" I call down the hallway, and up the steps, swallowed in shadows. "Barret?"

"Hush, girl."

My heart leaps into my throat, and I twist, nearly losing my balance on the uneven floor boards. Barret slinks out from behind a corner. How does such a big man stay so quiet? Let alone move so quiet. His eyes are shadowed, and look heavy.

"Where's Marlene?" The question pops from my mouth before I can think.

"I sent her to the basement to play. What's that?" He gestures towards the letter in my hand with his good arm.

"Nothing," I choke, clutching the letter in my fist. My heart is still in my throat.

"What's going on out there?" He moves quickly towards the window, peaking through the closed blinds. "AVALANCHE says there's been a SOLDIER fight on the south side...I'd go, but with Marlene..." he curses under his breath. "I was gonna drop her with Teef, but, she ain't around." He sends me a crooked grin. "What's she sayin?"

My hand starts shaking, and the letter rattles like dry leaves caught in a breeze. "She took the truck."

I don't know if it's my voice, or if it's my hand shaking so bad that tells him...but he turns on me fast, coming at me. I see it in his eyes, the rabid fear, and barely controlled rage.

"What's going on–

"She took the truck...I don't know what she was thinking, she wouldn't let me–

"Wouldn't let you what?!"

"See! Read! I'm sorry Barret–

"Tell me what happened!" He roars. The veins on his neck pop out, and he looks like a bear about to charge.

I hold my ground, trying not to shrink back. "They started fighting and he–

"SOLDIERS!" He roars again. "Did he hurt her?!"

"No!" My voice is shaking. I can't find my voice. How do I tell him? "He tried to protect her! He tried to save her!" I shout pleadingly; the last thing we need right now is Marlene overhearing and coming upstairs.

The anger, with the air goes out of him in a second, with a giant exhale, and all that is left is fear, and broken eyes. "Tried?" He says, so softly...I can't tell him–

_You must._

"She was trying...I don't know why she left... she knew it was going–

"No!" He comes at me again, placing one large hand around my arm. His fingers overlap each other, his skin rough and coarse, but his grip gentle. "She couldn't see her own..."

I close my eyes, feeling tears slip down my cheeks.

How do I explain?

And then I sigh, opening my eyes as I open my hand, looking down at the crumpled letter. Seeing the hand writing, seeing it and seeing in my mind the image of her sitting and writing it calm me. She knew what she was going into...I can do this.

"She knew...it was coming...not when, or how...but she knew." I hold out the letter, crumpled and beaten, and with a heaviness he takes it.

His eyes water as he reads it, his shoulders bowing out, and his chest caving in. It looks as if he can barely stand.

The letter.

That moment...when she finally let me in... the weight she laid there is so heavy. I don't know how I can stand it myself...if Zack were here–

No...Barret will help me. He will help me carry it...he'll never know what it looked like, though...he'll never know what it looked like to watch her eyes go dark, to feel her...and then nothing...to be sitting in her body, and then roughly yanked from it, just, thrust back into my own...that I will carry myself.

But I must.

_It had to be done..._

Quiet.

After a moment Barret silently passes the letter back to me, and presses his fingers into his eyes. I hold the crumpled paper, Tifa's last memoir, and glance at it momentarily.

_Cloud,_

I look away sharply, feeling a stab in my chest...his eyes, when I told him...outside of the school. It was such luck he was there, but... that sudden fear that had burst into my chest. I had felt her heart pounding, fast as a rabbit's, seen the church in the distance, and then she slammed the door. Nothing.

That was almost as scary as her fear. I thought she had died at first, but I could still feel her. She just wouldn't let me in. Of course she wouldn't...she didn't want me to let Cloud know...she didn't want me to know she was going... that she didn't want it to be stopped.

_It had to be done._

Did it? Did it really? Was there no one else?

–no that isn't right, don't think that. But...that is what he'll be wishing, and Barret, and honestly, it is what I'll be wishing.

Not for the first time I wish that Zack were here, that I could speak to him; even if he didn't know what to do, he would get us moving, and try to keep our spirits light.

Barret clears his throat, "We need to find him. She says-said…wr-wrote that we need to find him."

I nod my head, chewing on my thumbnail; my mind is racing and it's hard to keep track of what's going on, hard to prioritize. Find Cloud first? Try to get out of the city? Pack? Round up the others?

"Okay," I say shortly, taking sharp breaths. "Okay. How are we going to get out of the city? She made it explicit that we are supposed to leave the city."

"I'll contact AVALANCHE. If we tell them what happened, and that it's an emergency, we may be able to get out. Cid has always talked big talk, and Reeve maybe could find some way to buy us time. We can't depend on Strife getting us out of the city like he did with Tifa; there's more of us this time, and he's been compromised ever since he went AWOL."

"Yes and he and Genesis fighting in broad daylight probably won't help."

"But that's something the company is going to be busy with too," Barret says eagerly. "His last outburst wasn't widely publicized but his first one was; rumors spread, too, most of the plate dwellers know that Genesis attacked someone in the bar and severely injured them. ShinRa could ignore it, but two attacks so close together? They're going to have to address this and find him."

"But he's dead."

"I don't think ShinRa know that yet. They're probably doing sweeps down near the church, searching building to building. We need to figure out where Cloud is, and start packing. I'll make some calls, will you start packing some of Marlene's things?"

I nod shortly, and Barret starts to move towards the hallway but draws up short, turning back to me.

He looks down at my hand, "The letter…"

I slowly open my fist; it aches from being clenched so tightly.

"I don't think Cloud should read that," he says. "He's going to be unstable enough as it is, and I don't think reading that will help."

I nod my head in agreement, and Barret moves over to the counter, grabbing a shallow, clay bowl. He pulls a lighter out of his pocket, holding it with his good hand. "We can't risk him finding it."

I swallow; I know it's for the best, but Tifa wrote this intending for Cloud to read it, not me or Barret. Burning it feels like betraying her, but I stop for a moment, sorting through the many memories Tifa dropped into my head. One of them is her writing the letter; I can always tell Cloud what she wrote, and even without that memory I've been reading the letter over and over since I found it. I probably have most of it memorized.

My hesitation has made Barret wary; he looks like he's about to grab the letter from my hand but I pass it to him quickly and he shoves it in the bowl, lighting it with his good hand.

We watch for a moment, entranced by the flames, destroying Tifa's last words, and then Barret jerks up right and makes his way down the hallway. I quickly follow.

Barret shows me the way to Marlene's room. She's in the basement playing, but I still try to make quick work of it. I don't want to explain to her why I'm packing up her clothes and a few toys, not alone at least. Barret will be the best person to tell her.

I hear the front door open and close as I'm struggling to close Marlene's bag. A low voice rumbles down the hallway, and I stand up roughly, nearly tipping over. I grab the bag and drop in the hallway, scurrying quickly towards the front room. Barret's back is to me so I don't see her at first.

I step around him and meet Cloud's eyes; he looks broken, and familiar. He wears the same face I did when I found out about Zack. I look down at Tifa, my eyelashes fluttering rapidly, trying to hold back tears but failing miserably.

We're both broken now, Cloud and I. "Both of us…" I whisper without conscious thought. I swallow, speaking more clearly. "…I felt her…snuffed out like a light. I…never realized how big her presence was until it was gone." I place my hands over my face, trembling; it was an odd experience sharing my mind with someone other than the Planet.

The Planet always speaks so cryptically and seriously, and always considers the affairs I see as minute and unimportant. The plants that I speak to don't have a sense of humor, don't supply their own feelings and commentary to the things I seek out. When I spoke with Tifa, though, or saw her memories, her feelings were there with it; it wasn't just watching a movie, I felt the things she felt, vividly. I had someone to share the pain with, or the joy; she helped to feel the ragged gap that Zack left behind, to sooth the raw edges. I'm alone again.

"Aeris got here a while ago," Barret offers.

Yes, Cloud probably expected Barret to be inconsolable when he saw the body. I had expected more rage and sorrow from the man myself, but he's held himself together quite well. I imagine this isn't the first tragedy he's experienced.

"ShinRa has to die." It's the first words I've heard Cloud speak since he arrived, and his voice is hard and sharp, almost painful to the ears.

"The right way," Barret replies.

My gaze shifts to him sharply. "We do it right," he continues, "For her death, they all burn. That tower will burn to the fucking ground before I take my last breath, and ShinRa will burn with it."

Cloud looks down, at Tifa, quiet for a moment. "Fine," he finally speaks. "But leave ShinRa to me. Give me that, or I'll take it."

Barret nods, and I feel the need to intercede. We can plan their destruction later; right now we need to focus on leaving.

"Cloud," I say as softly as I can. "We need to take care of her, ok?"

Cloud nods his head and slowly moves to the couch, placing Tifa's body on it as Barret leaves the room. Cloud straightens, and I move towards them.

"Does Marlene know?"

I try to answer but my voice cracks; I'm still not sure how we're going to tell her. I kneel beside of the couch and study Tifa's face. Her hair is in her eyes, so I brush it back; she looks tired, aged, but peaceful. There's some sort of relief in her face. Maybe we all experience relief at death.

I take a deep breath, "No. Not yet."

We should take the body with us, I think. Tifa wouldn't want to be buried or cremated in Midgar. If we're leaving we should take her with us. She deserves freedom in final resting place.

"She's too light," Cloud's voice is unsteady, and for the first time I hear not only anger and loss in his voice, but devastating pain.

I sigh softly, straightening, keeping my eyes on Tifa. "There's a myth, about Cetra souls, and human souls. Human souls remain within the body, so that when you die, and are buried, your soul can embrace the planet, and rejoin with the lifestream in the most literal terms." I turn my head to study Cloud. "But Cetra souls leave their bodies when we burn them."

"Why?"

"Because…they stay with the ones they love until they pass, and then they pass into the Promised Land, human, Cetra, whomever they love until they are reborn in the lifestream, or unless they choose to stay there for eternity."

Cloud eyes me skeptically. "Do you think Zack is waiting for you?"

I feel my stomach lurch, trying to string together coherent thoughts to reply. "If the planet wills it. If the myth is true. It's all I have. No." The secret, my secret Tifa knew, figured it out at the end. No one knows now; I clutch at my dress. "That isn't true."

I turn away quickly, my stomach churning; I need to gather supplies…things from the kitchen, food, blankets pots pans pillows –we'll be on the road, we won't be able to stay in hotels—ShinRa will find us- Cars? Should we bring others? Who else is there? The girl, Yuffie…the one from the bar we have to go get out leave but how am I supposed to do this? I'll leave Elmyra, my father but be free but I knew Zack here all my memories of Zack are here and if I leave then I'm leaving him—

_No._

I take a deep, steadying breath. No I'm not leaving Zack. I press my palms flat up against my stomach.

I still have a part of him.

**A/N: **Okay, so I know there was some debate as to whether or not Swan Song needed a sequel, and I totally get it if people who loved Swan Song don't want to read this, especially because Tifa is dead in this story. However, it doesn't mean she won't be mentioned, or we won't get some peaks at her and Cloud's relationship from Aeris' POV and Cloud's. I have a bad habit of solely focusing on my two favorite characters, Cloud and Tifa, so this is a challenged to me to write as I'm sure it is for some of you to read, and if this isn't as popular I get it, no biggie. I wanted to write this though because I wanted to challenge myself to complete the story; sure, we can know what will happen through Tifa's vision, and Tifa's story is over, but that doesn't mean the rest of the world stop, so I wanted to challenge myself to write this story with out the crutch of Tifa to depend on. I feel like I know and understand her character well, so she's easy to fall into, so this is a nice literary challenge to step out of my comfort zone.

Another thing that I've been questioned on, which I figured I would be eventually, but come on if you know my stories and I, you should know better. This is not going to be a romance between Cloud and Aeris. This is a drama, and a tragedy, not a romance. Will they share moments? Yes. They both just lost someone they love, and can lean and depend on each other, so that is a dynamic I will be exploring.

One more bit of news! My mother and I opened a store on etsy, and I know this is kinda terrible to plug _ but I also think it would be really cool to interact with you guys more; we're selling antiques, and some of my crochet work, and eventually some of my artwork. So if you just want to check it out for fun that would be cool too. I don't expect y'all to buy anything I just like to share anything exciting with you guys that's going on! The shop is called Connie's Consignments and it's based in Lexington NC. If you check it out, cool, if not just keep reading the stories haha!

Thanks for all the reviews guys; I appreciate so much happiness at my return, and I'm going to try to be more consistent than I have been these past couple years. I hope you guys enjoy.

Later loves!


	3. Chapter 2

Cygnus Olor

Chapter Two

Barret is surprisingly efficient. A man shows up about five minutes after Cloud does, tall, dark and menacing, but he brings a windowless van with him that is immediately established as way out of Midgar. Barret is throwing bags into the back of the van; apparently he never packed any of Marlene's things but has had bugout bags of food, weapons, and supplies ready for months. I suppose it's something that comes along with being a part of AVALANCHE.

Cloud has been sitting on the floor beside the couch where Tifa's body still rests; Marlene is still in the basement. I feel caught up in a tide, a swarm, of emotions and activity. I don't know which way to turn; I don't know who needs my help. I am willing and able, but every time someone is beside me, it is only for a moment, to rush by me to do something. I feel useless and unneeded.

I keep avoiding looking at Tifa's body, but I can tell we are nearing the end of packing, and soon Marlene will be called up. There's no way I'm letting her see Tifa like this.

I take advantage of the chaos, digging through closets until I find a few stray sheets.

I'm careful when I tap Cloud on the shoulder; he still doesn't look all there.

His vacant eyes find me, question my presence and the sheets I hold in my hand.

"I think...we should wrap her up for now...so we can take her out of the city."

I haven't told anyone else my plan of taking her out of Midgar; if this was an all out battle with people dropping left and right, I know this wouldn't be acceptable.

But with Tifa... it isn't just that we all know her...and even though she was a fighter, a warrior, someone who fought for each breath until she was bloody and exhausted, she deserves this. It would be so cold, so callous to leave her beneath the plate.

_And the cells..._

I ignore the planet; it isn't what fuels me to take her away, the discovery of Cetra secrets through her body, but that she doesn't belong here. She has never belonged here. I look around the room at the rushing people; the girl in bar garb, the menacing man, the man with the red pony tail, the bald man in sunglasses, and the Wutain girl, helping her elderly father into the boarding house. None of us: none of us belong here.

I bring the white sheets to Cloud, and he lifts her, and between the two of us we wrap her body securely up. Afterwards, he remains seated on the couch, cradling her shrouded body to his chest. I try to ignore it, feeling Zack linger in the air between us.

Barret is yelling now, "Aeris! Get Marlene! Cloud! Here!"

I turn from the cold living room, and descend into the basement. Marlene sits in the middle of it, blissfully unaware, tugging a brush through a doll's hair. I scoop them both up without asking, without looking, and she remains silent, a child of a revolution, or simply a child with the foresight that something beyond her scope is happening.

We're in the back of the windowless van before I realize it, feeling the tires squeal as Barret floors it. Just before we're shoved into the back of the van I catch the decal stamped across the side: CCC, Cid's Construction Company. Directly across from us is Yuffie, the Wutain girl, and her elderly father; next to us the redheaded man and the bald man, and across from them the menacing man who brought the van, the girl in the bar garb, and a couple of other young men. Cloud sits with his back against the front seats, Tifa's body covered in sheets tucked up tight against him. Barret drives with a ferocity, speeding through the streets. It would normally be conspicuous behavior, the way he's weaving in and out of traffic, but with the recent SOLDIER battle, many cars are fleeing up the highways towards the top of the plate. We are hidden amongst the panic.

While most of the fleeing cars head towards the center of the city, towards the government buildings and the police department, we head east towards the wall. I don't voice my concerns, knowing that there is no possible way we can make it through security, even if Cloud's SOLDIER status wasn't compromised. I must trust Barret and AVALANCHE more than I realize.

We take an exit near the edge of the city, while cars speed past us, still heading for safety and government control. We hit the exit ramp at a good clip, the van bouncing as we hit the side street. I don't recognize the area, although it screams industrial; Barret doesn't slow for stoplights or stop signs, the tires squealing as we make turns. After a few of these turns I see that we've pulled into a company parking lot, and Barret executes turns as if he's been here many times before. Ahead of us is an airship, the cargo bay door open in its belly. Barret doesn't hesitate, driving straight up into the belly of the ship; the door screeches its doors shut behind us. The floor beneath us vibrates as soon as we've parked, and the van begins to shudder. For the first time Marlene makes a nosie, squealing quietly as she burrows her way deeper into my arms.

I can feel a strange sensation, it isn't just knowing that we're in an airship, but the pressure, and the pull of the earth changes, as does the volume of the planet's voices. They become quieter, stiller, as we rise farther into the air, and I begin to wish I was a bird, so I could always escape their noise.

As we reaching flying altitude, we feel the van lurch and shift, pulling away from Midgar without being able to see it. Barret finally releases his seat belt, turning to look over the seat at us.

"We're safe, for now."

**A/N****:** I know, I know, I'm terrible. I haven't updated like I used to. I hope you guys understand, that you still mean the world to me and I still love every review and cristism that I get, because it helps me (and yes I know i just spelt crisitism wrong, again) I have had a rough couple of years, finish college and not finding a job, having a long term boyfriend cheat on me not once, but twice, and I know this is sort of dumping my business on the internet, but when you find people that genuinely enjoy your work, and love the same things as you, it's so wonderful to share any good or bad news with them. We've had a couple of deaths in family recently, my grandma, where we spent all of our holidays, and my cousin, while by marriage but equally loved, died from seizures at only 24. Life is hard, but writing, and talking with you guys makes it easier. My cousin actually gave birth to her first child on my birthday (STOLE MY THUNDER XD) and my sister is less than 2 weeks away from giving birth to her first child, so it's give and take. I am always so extremely grateful for any support you guys give me, and believe it or not I am still working on original fiction. One day! I swear! I'm going to get my name out there :D but I really want to keep writing these stories. It's been hard, and difficult, and I know I've said before I'm going to try harder but I hope you understand how much I love you guys.

Till the next time,

Horky


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

The world is tethered to her; it's mostly a blur, Aeris before me, a hand on my shoulder, words in my ear, a different place to sit, different noises, different faces, but it all centers around her.

I clutch her in my arms, an anchor to the reality around me, and my dreams. In my head, I am floating away, I am remembering the quiet moments in Costa del Sol, the easy moments; lying in bed, cradling her head on my arm, the wind in her hair when she'd stretch her arms out in the sun, the glint in her eye when I would catch her looking at me; the frost on her breath in Nibelhiem; sitting on the deck watching the sunrise...and suddenly we're in the train, on the way back beneath the plate.

Empty. Warm. Placid.

She didn't even know I was there.

She didn't see me when she scanned her card to get on the train, she was just going through the motions; I didn't know her well then, but I had seen her enough times to know that she was not someone to live just by the motions. When she got on the long train ride, I knew, somehow, I knew that there was something wrong.

I followed her, instead of waiting for the short train. I followed her onto the empty cart; I remember the sunlight streaming across the seats and her face. She had curled up in a seat beside of a window, shrinking into a child size ball.

It was something Zack said, something he had hissed at me a few weeks before.

We had just gotten back from Wutai; he had begged me to meet him at the bar, Seventh Heaven. I had protested.

"Listen, I know it's not your style, I know it's not your way...but you're my best friend! How the hell am I supposed to suffer through those asshole's bragging if I don't have you silently scoffing at them at my side?! I'm not asking you to do this for you, although I sure think it would do you a hell of a lot of good...I'm asking you to do this for me."

For some reasons all I could hear in my head was Zack saying 'I'm asking you to do this for me.' I could remember him flirting with her at the club that night. I could remember her embarrassment at her accusing me of sitting on her bench; her shooing away Yuffie from the bar; her seeing my eyes and only seeing the blue...

And I remember shedding that shyness, that hesitation that holds me back, and just sitting down. I knew Zack would be proud of me, freak out even, if I told him...

But it wasn't just what Zack said that prompted me, it was just the helplessness in her eyes, the lost, vacant gaze; after seeing such a powerful, pointed gaze in those eyes it was hard to imagine them any other way.

I sit beside of her, feel her tense and relax but I keep my gaze ahead. Facing down a platoon of Wutains with bloodlust in their cries? No problem.

Sitting beside Tifa on the verge of tears? My knees are shaking. It's better if I sit.

It's a few minutes before she breaks the silence, and I knew, if she wouldn't break the silence there was no way I was going to.

"Are you...and Zack life partners?"

I struggle for a moment, trying to picture my life with Zack as a lover; the idea is not only repelling because I'm not attracted to men, but even though Zack is my best friend he would be the last person I would pick for someone to love. I imagine the sheer chaos of our daily life, and instantly see myself on one of those television programs that dictates how a jilted lover murdered their significant other.

I chuckle, thinking of the absurdity of it all. She laughs hard, her face scrunching up into the first look of happiness I've ever seen from her.

I cut off her assumptions.

"I take it Zack brought Denzel to school?"

She nods her head.

"No, we're not," I sigh. "Denzel is the son of Zack's mentor, Angeal. I knew I was running late...but not that late." I check my watch, feeling the exhaustion creep into my limbs as I read the time. "Angeal is top brass, so to speak. He's always traveling...so Zack took Denzel under his wing."

"I think Denzel likes you more."

I feel myself smirk, thinking of Zack's constant desperation for Denzel's approval.

"Me too...but don't tell Zack."

She beams, grinning at me. "I won't. So...you don't live above the plate?"

I can feel the surprise in her question; I don't blame her...most people assume all SOLDIERS are well off, and it isn't that we aren't well payed, but somebody has to do the dirty work.

"No. I live beneath it, Zack lives on top, though. He always has duty at the Tower, so he has to be there early, and it's hard for him to take Denzel. I work nights at a armory under the plate... security."

"I didn't know SOLDIERs worked when they weren't on a tour."

I shrug, feeling the old pull of resentment. I don't mind working when I'm not on tour, but when I know I'll be back there in a few months...well, fighting for my life, I would enjoy some time off.

Or would I? Maybe being busy is good for me.

I shrug, answering her question. "More money. We're ShinRa's lap dogs, really. Too much of an investment to let us rest."

"And yet you guys party like there's no tomorrow."

"I suppose. I go to bed around four, and I try to get up early enough to take Denzel to school. His mother works at the Tower, so she always has to be there earlier than Denzel has to be at school. She doesn't like him walking there alone. "

She nods her head, as if thinking intently. "Neither does Barret, Marlene's father. I do the same...work all night, and get up. I usually take a nap before I pick her up from school, or after."

I look at her, feeling that same pull of familiarity, the same I felt when I first saw her; I might be a tad prejudice though, after what she said. For a moment, I have a picture of what it would be like, to have her in my life, to speak with her about things that I don't even speak to Zack about; we talk about Denzel, but I don't let him know for a moment how exhausted I am to take him to school. I don't mind or regret it, but that doesn't change the fact that it is another burden. I see a kindred soul in her.

"How late did you work?" There's something in her eyes, something like when she talked to the Wutain girl at the bar...concern.

I grimace, and rub a quick hand across my face. "Six."

"I take it that's why you were late."

I shrug. "Happens... comes with the territory."

She pauses, a moment longer than between her previous questions but I think nothing of it.

"Why did you take this train, then?"

Ah, I've shown it...that vulnerability Zack and Aeris are always harping on me to show. I felt bad for her...she was crumbling. I've been there, more times than I care to count...how could I leave her alone like that?

I say nothing, lost for an answer. The exhaustion is starting to get to me; I feel it pressing in on the edges of my vision, but I keep myself upright. I've spent more time awake and exhausted overseas than this. Maybe it's that tired recklessness, that same recklessness that Zack learned to take advantage to question me, that leads me to question her.

"What happened?"

She sighs, deep and heavy; she isn't avoiding my eyes but she isn't meeting them either. She's lost in thought, beyond something I can understand or comprehend.

"I understand."

The silence sweeps over us, but it's a relaxing one. She tucks her knees into her chest, wrapping her arms around them, her eyes still ponderous in an unseen distance.

At her stop she stands, and I stand with her; a creeping, nagging feeling, one of a gentleman feel that my mother managed to impart on me before she passed.

I walk her to the bar, in silence again, but it doesn't feel strained or awkward, which is refreshing; I don't know if it's because she's lost in her own thoughts or if I'm too tired to feel cumbersome to her.

We walk to the bar, and I'm surprised when she stops in front of it.

"You live at the bar?"

"An apartment, above it," she replies, a little antsy. She loops a lock of hair between her fingers. "You didn't have to...well, I hope you didn't go too far out of your way. You need sleep."

Sleep, that blessed feeling...but I'm enjoying myself...it's like a dream.

I shake my head no, "Apartment's only a few more blocks down, really. It was just luck."

"Thanks," she replies quietly, tucking the lock of hair behind her hair.

I feel the dismissal, and nod my head in goodbye, and head down the alley.

It's a longer walk, really, than I lead on to her, but it's been a long time since I've made a new friend. Zack really, was the last friend I made, on my own. Aeris, Sephiroth, Angeal, they're all branches off of Zack. Without him, then they wouldn't be in my life. Sure, Zack was there at the bar with me, but I feel like, for the first time, in a long time, I've made an impression on someone that wasn't bland or negative.

I make sure to be outside the apartment by two ten. Maybe I'm being a bit aggressive, but I enjoy her company and if she seems uncomfortable then I'll let it drop, but it's nice to have a companion that deals with school children.

I don't let her know I notice her when she walks out of the door; I heard her coming down the steps a few minutes earlier. No need to freak her out prematurely.

She asks as we walk down the street if I managed to get a nap, and I reply yes. She smiles and says me too. It's that smile, that smile that makes me want to ask her more, question her more, want to know what lies behind those eyes...what led her this situation.

"_Cloud."_

I blink. Aeris is above me, a hand on my shoulder. We're still in the van. Tifa is still in the van. Tifa is still in my arms. No, it's not Tifa...it's just what's left.

"We're here," she says simply, her eyes green and blurred. I think of my own eyes. I try to remember the blue that Tifa saw so I'm not swallowed away.

Aeris leads me, a hand on my shoulder, outside. We've landed, but I didn't know...I'm not sure I remember even being in the airship. I remember getting in the van, but it's a blur after that. Aeris leads me out onto the canyon surface. The sun is setting, and I'm reminded once again, of the sun streaming across her face as we rode the train down under the plate. It's the opposite, then we rode the train the morning, I saw the morning light on her face. A beginning.

Now I'm seeing an end.

Aeris leads me to a pyre. Cosmo Canyon is ablaze with the setting sun. The horizon is a deep red, like her eyes.

She helps me unwrap her from the sheet and place her on the pyre. I stand beside of her, clutching her hand. She's pale, almost gray; it should be another thing to tell me she isn't there but I feel myself clinging to her. I will always cling to her.

"Remember," Aeris whispers in my ear, "She'll stay with you...even though..."

We must burn...the two of us. She'll burn now. I'll make sure to burn later. Her eyes are closed. It's easier to let go of her hand.

Aeris leads me away, presses a pen into my hand, directs me to a stretch of canvas.

"Write," she say simply.

I don't question, because if I question I'll think about leaving Tifa on that cold pile of wood; I'll think about why I left her there. I'll think about what brought us to this point.

I write.

Aeris lights a candle off of the torch in Barrett's hand. She lights the candle in my lantern, in her lantern. She passes it around, so all of Tifa's friends can light their own lantern.

All of her friends.

Barret holds the torch in his hand, passes it to me, I let go of my lantern.

I walk up to the pyre, burying the torch in the center. I stand too close for comfort, feel the flames singe my skin, burn the hair from my arms.

She is alight, for a moment warm, looking like the woman I loved.

It is almost physical, I feel her leave us, and enter us again. Aeris is still holding my lantern. She passes it to me.

I release it right next to her.

Words, simple words, I read in the glow.

I love you, Tifa.

I love you.

**A/N: **Hello dearest! I'm glad you've stuck around this long for the ride, and I truly appreciate it. I'm aware that I fade into present tense when Cloud should be in past tense, but it's more to be a way for you to fall into his mind...he's trying to live in the past (what a shocker, Cloud). This was a lot of fun, and interesting to write. It's weird, writing the same situation but from a different POV. You have to keep it fresh but convey the same feeling, so hopefully you didn't get too bored reading the same scene. I'm actually writing this on good ol' trusty, my old computer from when I first started fanfiction because my keyboard on my laptop has suddenly stopped work for some keys. So i was listening to old music and typing on my old trusty keyboard and it was quite refreshing. The song I actually listened to this was Dreamworld by Robin Thicke (pre Blurred lines, don't judge) and that's actually the song I listened to over and over again writing the one shot dreamworld (Shocker I know) It's a refreshing point of view. Things are looking up, a little bit. I've noticed that writers, like comedians, tend to be depressed people, so it provides good material but isn't good for the soul...but I actually wrote this chapter wearing my late grandmother's slippers. They're still dirty and have cigarette burns in them. If you knew my grandmother (I'm pretty sure you didn't) she wore house shoes (as she called them) ALL THE TIME. Wearing them helps me be closer to her, and it helped this chapter writing from Cloud's POV about Tifa being dead, because when i look at these house shoes I think of all the memories i have my grandma in them, and it's like i'm there again. I hope it worked, and you were in the same state of mind as me.

Anyway! I love you dearly, hope you enjoyed the chapter :)


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